I Am Staying In Tonight

I am Staying in Tonight

I’m staying in from church services tonight, and I hate it. I’ve had to miss often over the last few years because of exposure to COVID, which I’ve had twice now. I absolutely agree that quarantining is the loving thing to do, but that doesn’t make it easy - human interaction is high on my list of needs. But quarantining long enough to keep me from services? That hurts. And it should… that’s how God designed it! 

Hebrews 10 and Attendance

Let’s start in the obvious place: Hebrews 10:25. This is where we often go to condemn missing services, but if this is the only conclusion we’re drawing from the verse we’re really missing out! Beginning in verse 23, the text reads: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who has promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” This short passage sums up a big part of what it looks like to be an active Christian - to remain steadfast in faith, love and good works, and to spend time encouraging others to do the same. However, the scope of its meaning is severely limited when applied only to the local church service. Sundays are not the only day on which we should exhort or stir each other up. To be a Christian is a daily commitment (Luke 9:23), and it is not a walk meant to be made alone (I John 1:3). The word “assembling” as used in this passage has traditionally been used to mean “church”. However, the Greek word that is translated “church” (ekklesia), is not present in the text. The Greek word here is episunagoge, and it is used only three times in the Bible - including twice in this very verse! If we were to replace the English with the Greek in this phrase, it would read: “...not forsaking the episunagoge of yourselves episunagoge…” The term literally means a collection, assembly, meeting or gathering - to be together! It has no implied purpose as does ekklesia. (For comparison, the other example of this word's usage in the New Testament is II Thess. 2:1.) If we are applying the command to not forsake the gathering of saints exclusively to the worship assembly, we are both under-applying the verse and under-appreciating the value of consistent, quality time with God’s people. 

I have encountered many who believe they can miss the occasional service for any reason - as long as it can’t be said of them “as is the manner of some.” I’ve watched brethren bicker with those who draw a hard line on attendance issues using this verse as a stronghold for their convictions. Sadly, I believe both parties have missed the point. The point of this passage is not to put a gun to the head of the Christian and demand church attendance, but to emphasize that we should WANT to be with other Christians - that we NEED to be if we wish to remain steadfast in our faith. If we aren’t spending time with one another (both in and out of services), how can we consider one another? How can we stir one another up? How can we love one another, or esteem one another higher than ourselves? How can we exhort one another, or watch for the approaching Day together? These should be more than fulfilled orders -  they should be prioritized desires!

How do these verses harmonize with today’s Zoom era church service? I don’t believe they do. I was never in support of prolonged use of “virtual church”, as it (to me) does not fit the criteria of “church” at all. I understand the expediency short-term for sick or shut-in members, but in hindsight I hope we can see the supreme damage it has caused in the church at large. I know of congregations with recent converts who have yet to attend a single church service, as they’ve only watched online for the past two years. How can these new Christians they fulfill their role in the body of Christ (I Cor 12:12-27)? Christianity is not a spectator sport! Stirring up love and good works takes action. How can we expect to stir someone up without demonstrating love and good works ourselves? How can we do any of this without having a relationship with one another? Truly, that’s what it all comes down to: relationships. 

Romans 12 and Relationships

Romans 12 is generally regarded as being part of the “general admonitions” section of Paul’s most popular epistle. The first eight verses deal with the Christian’s responsibility to be a living sacrifice, not conformed to the world, but transformed, and not to think of oneself more highly than he ought to think. Verses 4-8 echo the sentiments of I Corinthians 12: that everyone has a job to do, a talent to offer as a part of the body. The rest of the chapter deals with what that looks like: Service - but not  just any kind of service. Towards a hostile world servitude demands humble submission, and towards other members of the body it requires close relationships. “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another… distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.” There we go again, spending time together outside of the assembly! Having such a relationship means knowing one another’s needs and loving one another enough to make sacrifices in each other’s service. Even deeper, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another…” This isn’t strictly a command to be present when people are celebrating or mourning. This is a command to be emotionally connected! When you get that promotion at work, I will be just as happy as you are! When your family pet passes away, it will hurt me as well. Why? Because I have a relationship with you. Because we go through life together. Because we are family. And because I love you.

I Corinthians 5 and Church Discipline

Ever wonder why church discipline often doesn’t work? I Corinthians 5 lays out the withdrawal process, and II Corinthians 2:6-8 shows the desired result. However, the need for withdrawal often indicates failings on the part of the church. If efforts are made to spend time with brethren, to reach, teach and stir up to love and good works - both inside and out of the church building - the chance of a Christian requiring withdrawal is low (although not unprecedented.) All too often though, it indicates a lack of quality time and closeness with other members.

If a member does necessitate withdrawal (and may it never be), everyone should hurt. That’s  what the process is designed by God to do. Absence of a member on the basis of open and unrepented sin should feel like amputating one’s own foot, but church discipline is often ineffective because it doesn’t always hurt. A relationship must be cultivated and nurtured for removal  to be effective. Want church discipline to work? Show them love, and show it long before this awful situation ever becomes a thought.

Paul’s Relationships

Thinking about the way Paul spoke about other Christians makes his love for his spiritual family so real to me. Even his rebukes, “I plead with you brethren…”, communicate his care for them. Of the Romans, whom he’d not even met, he wrote, “God is my witness… that without ceasing I make mention of you in my prayers, making request if, by some means, now at last I may find a way in the will of God to come to you…”  In other epistles, Paul makes similar statements about praying to God in thanks for those he knows and loves. An emphatic example of this is the Philippian letter: “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making requests for you in all joy…” (Phil. 1:3-4). He also makes several statements regarding an aching desire to be with his fellow Christians from all over the world. Of Thessalonica, Paul says: “having been taken away from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored more eagerly to see your faces with great desire.” (I Thess. 2:17). To Timothy, whom Paul refers to as “a beloved son”, he writes: “I thank God… as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” ( II Tim. 1:3-5). Imagine the relationship of love behind those words!

 I can’t imagine a life without these kinds of relationships. I can’t imagine a life where I don’t get to see people who I feel this way about at least twice a week. When I miss a service, it hurts. It was designed by God to hurt, not as some cruel punishment for skipping, but because what we are missing is SO GOOD when done right. I could confidently write letters with the same language Paul used above to people all over the world. I love them more deeply than words can explain, and missing them hurts because God blessed me so abundantly with relationships that demonstrate His love and that I cannot do without. He designed it this way and I couldn’t be more thankful for His provision. He blessed you in the same way. If you don’t feel that love or know those relationships… He means for you to. It’s part of being in the family of God! 

If you need help to find that love, please reach out at the email provided in my profile!